Sumit Kumar
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय
Off… Across the Seas
May 25th
In a few minutes I will be leaving this already deserted place called Kharagpur. It has been an extended stay and unfortunately even now I am not getting an opportunity to go home as I catch my flight directly from Kolkata to the US. Looking forward to visiting new places and meeting new people. I know it would be tough for two months without the usual hubbub and exertion to which I was so much accustomed to in Kgp. But thankfully, it would be a respite from the scorching heat wave that this place is currently going through.
The Goodbyes, the Welcomes and the Expectations
May 17th
So much happened in the last 15 days or so and now I am sitting mostly idle, justcounting the days. As the endsems ended, there was the IPL match we went to see at Cal, the Grand Viva, the BTP thesis and its presentation. But now that everything is over, I am sitting idle after quite a long long time. Just waiting for the 25th when I embark on my first visit to the States.
The goodbye season has already started. The 5th years and the B.Techs of my batch are waiting just for their dues to be cleared. Mostly all will be leaving by the 21st or 22nd. Definitely the “end of an era”. It seems just yesterday when in 2nd year, our batch of 61 used to sit together in the Common room meetings and when we knew everything about each other in a span of less than a week. Things have definitely moved on a long way. A lot of events and incidents have took place in the course of last three years. People have adhered more to their wings. The feelings of “Hall Tempo” and “unity” have somewhat eroded with time, but that is only expected. Still, friends are for forever and they will be. Hope to see all of them back together at some reunion some day!
The 5th year at Kgp is expected to be hectic one again with the pressures of Job and GRE. But with the pressure of “Hall” not there, I will be more of a relieved man this year. But I will give my best towards the Hall, whenever required. Be it OP, Illu whatever, it is hard to stay away when things are “happening” in the Hall! And one last dream of winning the gold in Illu still remains. With the first years also coming to the Hall this year, another new experience is in store for. Lets see how things turn out.
Best wishes are always there with Mukesh and his batch to carry out things smoothly and perfectly. Patel Hall has given me so much to learn and so much to look back to when I am gone and so much to look forward to when I am still here. I definitely would like the Hall to attain all possible heights in my final year of stay here.
IPL Mania… and the Longest Exam Ever
Apr 26th
All speculations regarding the popularity and all questions regarding the concept of the Indian Premier League have been laid to rest as the event has taken the nation by storm. And Kgp was not to be left behind. Even as the beginning of the event coincided with the endsems, there still were many takers for the newest form of Cricket entertainment. So much so that this time, a new concept of “streaming” the matches has taken off in Kgp. Just as the match time approaches, the DC main chat room is filled with demand and supply of match streaming IPs. Kolkata Knight Riders and Chennai Super Kings have emerged as the two strong teams so far, while the Mumbai Indians and Deccan Chargers have been letdowns.
Just waiting for the giant spectacle at the Eden Gardens on 29th when the Riders take on the Indians. The tickets are already here. By the way, after the EC dudes of our wing confirmed that they wouldn’t be able to go because of their GV, it took me only 5 minutes to sell their tickets, with a profit of Rs. 100! It seems that a lot of Kgp folks are going to be there for company at the Eden.
Amidst all this, there was a totally new (but deadly) experience of an exam with unlimited time duration. The Modern Control Theory paper was even more terrifying than already expected. To make matters “worse”, prof said that we could take as much time as we wanted. After five and a half hours of simulation, coding and calculations, I decided that I could take it no more and walked out of what definitely was the biggest torture in the name of exams!
Standing in the middle of it
Apr 14th
There were dreams and promises to begin with and so were some big expectations. But what lay ahead was mostly an unknown territory which although appeared thoroughly clear from different perspectives. But it was never supposed to be a completely smooth sail. Even if the waters are calm, the boat still has to be directed properly.
At some point of time, my personal dreams were even hard to ascertain, leave alone taking attempts at materializing them. At times I have been made to believe that I shall let life come to me and bring something for me rather than setting out and seeking something on my own. Either way it has been a win and lose situation at the same time and I am yet undecided on this issue – how to approach life? Whenever I do choose a path, its not long before bumps are felt in between and there appear to be voices calling back. Of late, whatever I have pursued, weren’t much in conjunction with my personal dreams or goals.
So much has changed in the past year. The world is so very different. The people around don’t appear same as they were before and perhaps nor do I appear same to them. Every thought has been subjected to endless analysis and every action has been followed with incessant retrospections. But when I look back I do believe that what I aimed at was satisfaction out of what I have done and this I might claim that I have succeeded in achieving.
But above all, I have enjoyed each and every moment thoroughly. The simple reason for that is I have felt passion in whatever I have done. I always believe that to achieve any goal, what a man requires is determination along with passion. I have never felt that I am wasting time anywhere, although there have been occasions when I have been deserted because others felt the other way. Things have gone out of control but I took due care to keep myself under control. And when I have failed in that too, the results haven’t been good. So, at some level it is the fight with my own inner-self that has kept me going forward. And as long as this fight continues, I believe that every goal is too small to achieve.
Sports GC… Back Home they say
Apr 1st
Now the visions of first year are coming back again. The day when I made my first formal entry inside Patel Hall – the Tea Party. The day was made to coincide with the Gymkhana prize distribution day, when Patel had won the Sports GC. The very first tryst with Patel was indeed a memorable one and in many ways we had with us what many at Kgp crave for – the GC. In formals we marched from Netaji to Patel with a non-stop tempo shout and “sloganeering”.
After a wait of three years, Patel has repeated the feat. This time though, no Hall even is coming close to us. As of today, 5 Golds have been won and golds are expected to be won in badminton and TT as well. If everything goes well, we should finish with 80 points, a record in Sports GC. Combine this with the current top spot in the Tech GC and a possibility of finishind 2nd in soc-cult, it has been a dream year for Patel.
Hope to see all the three GCs next year!
Survival
Mar 10th
What does life mean to an individual? In many cases, the course and outcome of one’s life appear to be decided by the factors around. Right from the childhood, it is the family and other close ones who play an important and in many ways a decisive role in shaping the future. In most of the cases your thoughts get molded in such a way that are in similar lines of the aforesaid environment you are in. So, where does the sense of individuality then come in? Its not in your hands where and amidst which circumstances you are born. One is deeply influenced by the kind of education he undergoes. But that too is not in your hands. It depends on the thinking of your family and more importantly their resources. And since your career and future course of life largely is decided by your previous educational exploits, many would safely assume that it is not totally in your hands what you become.
But to me this is only the flipper side of the coin. As you grow up, your thoughts get expanded. And more often than not, you are not left with one narrow path to follow. After a certain stage your family no longer acts as a force in pushing you in a certain direction. And when there are to choices of paths to take upon, it is your own thoughts and decision-making prowess that comes into play.
There have been times when the situations around have forced me to act in a way I would not have done, had I gone totally with my inner-self. But again, there have been times when I have taken upon some decisions without looking around too much into the external conditions. Decisions which didn’t turn out to be the best for me. There have been regrets over them but I have moved on trying just to look into the positives out of them. It is not easy to gauge all the possible consequences of your actions. So I won’t burden myself by thinking that I didn’t look too much into the consequences before I undertook the decision. Of course, people around will raise questions in case of a failure. But that too happens only when something has gone wrong. It is then that everybody realizes that the task had better not been undertaken. But to warn of it in advance is beyond their anticipations as well.
So I have been doing what I have felt I can do the best. Within my limitations I have tried to make the most of my capabilities. Whenever I have let myself down, I have only gained further mental strength. But I try not to let myself feel down when others have questioned my capabilities and actions. As I said, I believe I have my own limitations and I need to do the best I can within that. Anything beyond that can be tried upon but not with any anticipation or fear of success or failure.
Looking for Answers?
Feb 16th
Better not to look for answers in the dark. Chances will come I know, just have to grab it. Moreover, there are so many questions and you can’t really decide which one needs to be answered first. I don’t know what this amounts to. Perhaps, being a perfect planner with foresightedness, having some serious visions for the future. Or probably someone trying to live in the present without expecting too much from life, and taking into stride whatever comes by. Just have to find out how much do I keep oscillating between these two contrasting virtues as time passes by. However one thing always is there in my mind, whatever I am some day, I will have lots to look back to but nothing to regret.
Visit to Narendrapur… In Pics
Jan 28th
Some pics I took during my visit to my school on the occasion of its Golden Jubilee. A glorius journey of 50 years indeed!
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| The statue of Swamiji at the Entrance |
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| The Golden Jubilee Hoarding atop the School Building |
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| The Eternal Cool Amrakunja |
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| The Decoration on the School Building |
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| With Tapan Maharaj… The coolest among all of them |
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| A serene view of the Shivananda Bhavan… My abode in class 8 |
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| The Bridge across the pond |
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| The beautiful Dahlia at Turiyananda |
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| I stayed in both these blocks of Turiyananda in classes 9 and 10 |
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| The picturesque view of Turiyananda across the pond |
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| The pond on way to the Junior Section |
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| The Junior Section Assembly Hall |
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| The Junior Section School Building |
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| My first Hostel – Advaitananda Bhavan |
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| The memorable TV watching spot in Advaitananda – Can never forget those Mahabharat episodes on Sundays and the 96 World Cup |
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| The Vivekananda Centenary Hall |
My Message to the Hall
Jan 25th
After so much of effort, so intensive a planning and so huge a participation and a flawless performance, a gold was what everyone was talking of. Don’t understand what went wrong, but the Hall is frustrated with the judging in the English Drams. A bronze was not definitely what we deserved. What pains most is that SN’s play was rated above ours. A big salute to Sandy and Amod in particular who had something to be proud of in their final year in the Hall.
Following is the mail I wrote to the English Drams people. With the expectation that we will definitely have a lot to cheer for in the coming days.
Well, this is the 2nd time in the year that I have to say this. I haven’t yet forgotten how distraught the whole Hall was after the bizarre judging in Illu-Rangoli. We had put in such a magnificent effort there and so getting a blank there was indeed painful. But then as they say, its time to move on. We have been doing everything we could during Illu and will leave no stone unturned again this year.
But English Drams this year was a new height attained and beyond doubt a defining moment in the history of the Hall. It took enormous tempo and professionalism on the part of Sandy and Amod to put up such a great show. I guess we have done justice to their talent with our performance this year, their 4th in this Hall and have definitely given them something to look back to. But for the rest of us its just the beginning. We have many more heights to attain in the coming events, not just this year but in the years to come as well.
Honestly speaking I never judge the true effort with the standings we get. For me, the biggest moment was when such a big crowd from the Hall got together for the tempo shout after the play, the biggest I have seen till date. For me, the satisfaction was when people from all around, across different Halls congratulated me for our performance. For me, achievement was getting huge cheers from the audience during and after the play. Believe me, many of our seniors who in their time had put in all their efforts will be so proud of us when they see or get to hear about this play. Some of them have already congratulated me. It was a complete team effort which brought so many people from the Hall together. That’s what we live here for. That’s what being a Patelian is all about.
So let these petty judgings not deter us. We only have one direction to move and that is – Forward. We are not going to look back. We are here to show the world what we have within us. Results are just a part and parcel of these events but what should matter the most are the great moments we had working together. And no judge can snatch those away from us. So, some on guys, be proud of what you have done so far and let us complete this journey which we have embarked upon, with a new high, never as seen before.
Melancholy
Jan 15th
Sadness has its own virtues indeed. I tend to look deep within myself. Everything around seems to have something to offer. The existence of each and everything in this world has a meaning. The answers to some perennially unanswered questions seem to be coming from some directions. If I ever had misgivings regarding my own existence, justifications seem to come for that as well. What I am in this world for. What my existence means for myself and for others. While I am here, through my actions and inactions I need to be in coherence with those meanings.
In general, one needs to be jovial. The belief is that its the happiness that keeps you going forward and explore new things. But at times I do need to take a pause in this journey of life, full of pace. To look back and ponder whether I have been able to do justice with my life or not. That in a way gives me more strength to face challenges further, which are surely going to be more demanding. These challenges just can’t be expected be come any day and hit hard right into my face for which I was largely unprepared.
